Practical Steps to Self Reform beyond Muharrum

Salam Alaykom,

I would like to take this opportunity to offer my condolences on the occasion of the commemoration of the martyrdom of the Master of Martyrs, Imam Hussain (as).

I am privileged to feature on my blog the notes from the lecture presented by brother Eisa Ali on the second day of Muharrum. This was for the majalis held by Shabab al Sibtayn and is titled: Practical Steps to Self Reform beyond Muharrum. Please take a moment to read through and reflect on how we can implement them individually.

These blessed nights are a fantastic opportunity for us to try to improve our characters in order to become worthy of the exalted title of a ‘Shia’ of Aal Mohammad!

Try some of these Practical steps for a successful positive change in your habits during Muharram and beyond!

1) Acknowledge and Identify your bad habits: First step is to admit you need to change. If you are in a state of denial, you won’t recognize that you have a bad habit to change.

2) Intention & Plan to change: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” A healthy process of change in character requires a gradual pace, which entails planning. Develop concrete milestones to measure your progress. Say for example, ‘I now smoke 20 cigarettes a day, by next month I want that number down to 5 cigarettes a day, if not less.‘

3) Pick a habit for this month: Prioritize your bad habits and focus on one for this month. If you are committed to changing at least one habit, you will see remarkable results, Allah-willing. Don’t try to over-do it by trying to change too much too soon. More than likely you will fall off, lose motivation and not make any progress at all. Remember; take baby steps!

4) Realize that it’s in us to change: Don’t believe the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” You can break a bad habit if you really want to. No one else can change your habits, if you don’t want to.

5) Replace a bad habit with a good one: Completely eliminating a habit is more challenging than replacing it with a more productive habit. Moreover, it’s crucial to replace the lost natural needs, such as the need to socialize and to be entertained with something healthy. Many people who smoke say half the problem is that they need something to hold in their hand. So swap cigarettes for a nicotine inhalator.

6) Follow up a bad deed with charity: If you’ve made an intention to stop a certain habit or act, but you relapse and commit the act again then follow it up by giving money to charity. By doing this you will associate a financial cost to your behaviour and this will act as another deterrent.

7) Reward success: Conversely, when we do something good, it is vital that we reward ourselves. For example, every week that you pray all your salah on time, give yourself a halal treat!

8) Choose your friends wisely!!! RasoulAllah (saaw) said: “If you want to know a man, look at his friends.” Our friends influence us so much so it is up to us to ask ourselves ‘is this friend taking me closer to Allah (swt)?’. ‘Are we always taking about unimportant things? Or do we speak about religion?’. Don’t worry about if certain negative influences get upset with us because we distance ourselves. On Judgement Day YOU have to answer for YOUR sins, nobody else, and they won’t be there to help you.

9) Remember both the rewards and the punishments of the Akhira: Remember that this life is temporary and our real rewards and accountability takes place in the after-life. Death is the only certainty in this life, despite our best efforts to push it to the back of our minds. Always remaining conscious of this will give us the extra motivation to make that change.

10) Don’t give up: Giving up bad habits or learning good habits requires regular maintenance and discipline. It is a long, ongoing process, also known as “Tazkiyyah” (self-purification) in Islamic terminology. The soul which engages on this act of purification is called An-nafs-al-lawwama, the self-reproaching soul. So we have at least moved on from our lower, animalistic self & Allah (swt) LOVES the repentant believer who wishes to change himself.

11) MOST IMPORTANTLY… Ask Allah (swt) for help!
“Ask me, and I will answer your call…” (Quran 40:60)
Surely with the help of Allah you can make the changes you want, for without Him, nothing is possible. Just Trust and Pray to Allah and make this Muharram a self-reforming one!

InshAllah you are all successful and your tears are accepted on the Day of Reckoning. Let us all be the people Imam Hussain (as) wanted us to be!

Until next time, salams.